Captivated

I am standing at the throne of God

Submerged in the Light of His power

And the beauty of His love

My heart feels what I had never felt

Before—I am in love

Truly in love

Every day I fell in love

With the beauty around me

With anything and everything

He is teaching me to dance in

His throne room, swinging and laughing

Singing and skipping, I pledged my heart to Him

I was alive—Walking was dancing to me

Every day was a story book

Every talk, a song

The sun was always there

And on some days, there were clouds too

But ever was the sun shining

He smiled as He took my hand

The King of Kings allowing me to glide

Across the floor—in His perfect waltz

“Will he always dance with me, as You do?
The One You are preparing for me?”
I giggled at our long awaited dream

He but smiled, always answering

Me with, “Love is patient, my child,
Your Knight is almost ready”

He told me He is cultivating this

Knight into the perfect dream

A dream we have whispered secrets about

He has sung to me the plan

He has for me; the One who will one day

Hold me, is also waiting for me

But my dance is not finished,

He is teaching me how to dance

For the day I will meet this Knight

The array of our one-two-three

Rhythm was for the purpose of Him

Teaching me to follow and my Knight to lead

He swings me across the floor

And my eyes catch a glimmer

A glimmer of nothing in particular

He notices my glance

And whispers again to me

“Look towards Me, baby”

I grin and He winks

My heart knows He is working

And His heart knows my desire

Days fly and Summer soars through

He takes my hand and walks with me;

He is my everything

As our music starts to play

The King led me to our starting spot

Our waltz begins

Just as every time before, we glide across the Floor

However, this time, He starts to slow

And my attention is caught

There he stood, as I danced with the Father

He was playing with the Son

And then I saw his smile

He beamed with the Light of Joy

And played with the Beauty of the Muse

He was a Knight I had never seen

The King stilled our dancing to a stop

And this Knight looked up,

Every piece of him shined

The King and His Son giggled

As our introductions were made;

Before I knew it, I was whisked away

“Who is he?” My heart asked

Of my King,
He but smiled and said, “Look towards me, Baby.”

So I did

I was then taken away,

To the other side of the Throne

We danced and danced,

And then the worship began

Singing and singing, my heart brightened

The King gently opened my eyes the vision

I saw, was nothing I could describe

This Knight was worshipping with the Light of Day

He smiled with eyes shut

And swayed as if nothing else mattered

He was truly in love

Again, I was whisked away

“Who is he?” My heart cried,

The King said nothing, just simply smiled

Dancing beneath the Stars

One night, He knew what was in

My heart before I even spoke

“You wonder about this

Knight, you saw?”
His eyes were gentle and His heart warm

I did not even need to speak

Before His smile

Began to spread

I felt deep within my heart

The familiar words He had always spoken

Yet this time, in a different light

“Love is patient, my child,
Your Knight… He is

Almost ready”

Contentment, I had never felt

As wonderfully before, than in this moment

Also a peace that my Knight, I will see

Days fluttered by, Dance after dance,

He was feeling my excitement

With each passing step

Every night as we would

Look up to the stars

I felt us getting closer and closer

“But who is he?”

My heart would ask

Patiently, He would listen

In response to my

Every prayer, He brought this Knight

Into my life

Even among questions and reasons,

Sudden distance and doubts

Only Your peace remains

Starting with nothing but Hello

And such a short time later

A sweet friendship was made

Smiling and laughing

Beneath the stars and rain

The essence of joy

Dreaming and dreaming

I could never have

Matched even a piece of you

Sunshine and Innocence

The brightest light among the stars

but not just that: You also love Him

You love the One who loves us

Teaches and saves us

The One who give us the lives we live

The One who composes

The symphonies of breath

And the key of our song

He created you

Knitting you together

With the hands of an artist

You have the heart

Of a Prince, and I

Am your Princess

I watch you from here

And you watch me from there

The King cultivating our every move

Then, with His prompting

You walk towards me

And I am captivated

The King and His Son

Holding either of our hands—

Stepping up to me, we feel Their joy and blessing

Just then, you lift your hand

And ask

“May I have this dance?”

Wandering

I try I think I can make it

Life was good

I was in want of nothing

Until it happened

I drifted in the sea

Away from You

You called me out

I turned, afraid,

I said no

I wandered in the desert

My forty years,

Because I yielded not to what I should

I said no to You

My world crashed

Stubborn, I stood

I thought I had it under control

Life is supposed to be easy

“Eat, drink and be merry”

Is that my purpose?

I am told from all corners that it is

“Life is short, live it up”

“Loosen Up

Don’t be so uptight

Live it up”

There was a war those days

A war for my heart

To be the captain of my soul

You or the world

I stood on the fence

Afraid to fall

I didn’t realize it then

But the truth was

I have already fallen

And I have a choice

To make

Everyday

Do I fall on a cruel, hardened world

That has fake ideas

Plastered everywhere?

Do I fall into the hands

Of something that has no care

Whether I live or die today?

Or do I fall

Give up my life

To find it

You break my fall

You hold me up

On wings like eagles

My wandering heart

Was lost,

Now it is found

You tame my wandering heart

Into a live beating soul

That soars in love with all

I understand,

I will continue to wander

My heart is human

But the thing I do know

Is deep down,

I love You with my whole

I will never purposely

Leave You

I love You

And in You,

I have also found

A purpose

This is what I dreamed of

It’s what I love

And so I thank You.

My life isn’t meant to live up

It’s meant to live out

It’s meant to be given

I love You.

Choose

In overtime this warrior stands
His stance wavering, sweat glistening,
Lungs burning
His body screams for a moments
Rest
His mind has also been yelling to him
From round one:

"Useless, useless,
It is only one battle, you can end it
Now! Your choice: an easy, quick choice,
Give in, let go, relax, roll over
Besides, you never really did have a chance
It's useless, useless"

This warrior once again sizes up
His opponent
Muscles rippling and a smile curving
His lips, why this foe is a giant!
Did he ever even have a chance?
Is he a fool to even fight?
The adversary's eyes seemed to say:

"Useless, useless,
It is only one battle, you can end it
Now! Your choice: an easy, quick choice,
Give in, let go, relax, roll over
Besides, you never really did have a chance
It's useless, useless"

His foe's coach even seemed
To count this fight as over
The crowd looked at him
With no hope-- besides one
She looked at him, knuckles white
Her eyes burned with an inner fire
And also with an unspoken message:

"This fight has not ended
You will finish strong,
Your Strength will be your Glory
Keep your head held high,
You will be victorious--
Unless you choose not to be
Do not lose heart, Choose Courage!"

Her message is clear
But how can he continue this
Fight when so many think
It useless?
He eyes then turned to his Coach
He looked confident and understanding
He said:

"This fight has not ended
You will finish strong,
Your Strength will be your Glory
Keep your head held high,
You will be victorious--
Unless you choose not to be
Do not lose heart, Choose Courage!"

Just then,
The whistle blew, the warriors
Rushed towards each other
The battle was over
One victorious, the other defeated
One coach stunned, the Other smiling
Who won? You choose.

"... the race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong..."
  - Ecclesiastes 9:11

Courtship, Pt. 3: "The Blessing"

     I want to start off this final post (You may see a fourth one! We are just getting to the good stuff! :) )on courtship by saying that, I feel a little out of sorts to share my heart on this phase of courtship because I haven’t experienced it yet.  So in this post I share with you my hope, my desire for my own love story, and what I have witnessed in watching other couples love stories.  I have watched it play out many times, and found it so irresistible, I had to share!  So again, if you have any questions regarding any of these posts, or even any comments, please don’t hesitate to ask me.  I love talking about it, and believe it or not, your comments about agreeing or even disagreeing help me to shape and form my own beliefs. But above all, just as we should when reading anything, always bring it back to God’s Word—to test and approve what is being said, and again… pray.

     I have to start out this final post by speaking directly to my brothers in Christ: I feel for you!  Your job in pursuing and winning the heart of your lady is such a heroic and courageous act!  I was able to watch my brother and brother-in-law pursue their future wives, and my heart went out to them every day.  You definitely have the harder role in courtship, but it will be so worth it!   You guys are amazing.

     C.S. Lewis once said, “To love is to be vulnerable.” I really believe this. When I last left off in my previous posts, we talked about the waiting period while we are young, the blessing of the friendship phase, getting to know each other as families and friends, and eventually God drawing one heart to another.  At this point, we know when God has drawn us to someone and we can begin praying for that person specifically, with parents and mentors, for God to confirm if this is the person He has for you.  When a young man feels that God has confirmed him to move forward, he goes to her father to ask for a spiritual blessing over their relationship, for permission to court his daughter, with the hope that marriage will be the end goal. He is not just vulnerable in front of his future wife; he also must become vulnerable in front of his future father-in-law.

     I remember late one night my big brother, John, called me from his dorm room in California. Out of all of my siblings, I would have to say that I am most like John. So needless to say, I couldn’t wait to talk to him! I remember this night, specifically; it was a late summer night, and I was lying outside on our hammock. As always, John was making me laugh about some random thing, however, suddenly the conversation changed. We started talking about Sarah.

     “You can be praying for me, Kara,” John said, “I feel like I love her.” The vulnerability in my brother was amazing.  I loved Sarah from the moment I met her.  Her quiet disposition, how she was constantly serving everyone around her, how she giggled at all of John’s jokes, how she loved God and her family—I knew they would be perfect for each other.  However, in this moment, something shifted.  All at once, I truly realized that my brother really, really loved her.

     When my big brother came home on one of his school breaks, he made a plan talk to Sarah’s father.  He had already expressed his heart for her to our parents, and they were already praying for God to confirm that this was the girl for my brother.  As they prayed, John felt his love for Sarah grow; and my parents felt peace from the Lord that she was the one for him.  My mom remembers the day that John planned to go talk to Sarah’s father.  They prayed together for God to give him courage, strength, and the right words to express his desire to court Sarah.  With shaking hands and pounding heart, but fierce determination, John left to meet him.

     This meeting between a man and the girl’s father is not about “getting to know each other.” I feel that this process should have already happened as friendship grew.  In order for a father to even think about giving his permission and blessing for courtship, he has to know what and who this man is about. The young man needs to take time not only to build a friendship between himself and this girl, he must also spend time getting to know the family—and building a relationship with the dad. Otherwise, the dad is going to be forced to say no, because he will not know who this man is.  Now don’t get me wrong, you don’t need to make her father your new BFF, but he should know who you are and what you are about if you want access to his girl!

     Another piece of this is on the daughters end. At this point, as I said in the last post, the girl should already be praying for this young guy alongside her parents. It is necessary for the girl to communicate to her parents about how she feels toward this man, and her heart’s desire for him in her life. Otherwise, when the time does come for the man to approach the father, he is again going to be forced to say no because he does not want to put his daughter into a potentially bad or uncomfortable situation.

     So, this meeting between man and father is not about getting to know each other, it is about stating his intentions. It is the act of the guy showing that he desires to have everyone on the same page in regards to his relationship with this girl. He is stating that he believes God is leading them into a future marriage. His heart is already turned, and he is telling the father that his intention is marriage—not just, “We’ll see if it works out.”

     It is also about getting a spiritual blessing over a relationship; or in other words, a covering. In the Bible, a spiritual blessing was a big deal.  It was a way for a father to express his approval, his permission, his open doorway to his greatest treasures on earth.  And in courtship, he is giving permission to his daughter’s heart.  God first entrusted the heart of each girl to her father.  He is the doorway.  The blessing for courtship is in effect a father saying he has permission to come into the inner workings of the family and of his daughter’s heart.  The Bible also says that we are given spiritual blessings when we enter into a relationship with Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:3)—so the same should be with marriage.

     From a father, it is not only words of permission for his daughter to enter into a relationship, but it is also a sign and commitment that the father is going to pray for this couple.  He is not yet giving permission for marriage, but rather giving his blessing for a young man to pursue and win the heart of his daughter for marriage, and inviting God to cover and bless the courtship as they grow deeper toward one another.  My dad says it this way, “Giving a spiritual blessing is not giving permission for marriage quite yet, rather it is like the father giving permission for the young man to step through the doorway of the castle as the father lowers the draw bridge, welcoming him in.”

     To any girls out there that grew up like my mom, without a father: A spiritual blessing does not need to come exclusively from a father. It can come from a trusted uncle, grandfather, pastor or godly spiritual mentor in your life!  Choose someone like this in your life and share with them your heart for courtship, ask them to be your ‘spiritual covering’ over your heart. 

     And, guys!  This can be totally romantic to the girl you are pursuing!  I have told the story of my brother-in-law coming to talk to my dad.  And mind you, he knew my dad from the time he was a little baby, so you wouldn’t think any reason to be nervous, right?  Definitely not the case!  This is hard stuff!  My brother-in-law tells the story of him and his family driving over to Seattle from Spokane with the intention for Ryan to meet with my dad and Ryan threw up in a garbage can before he went to talk to him!  Every girl that I have told that story too thinks it’s one of the most romantic things and totally melts at the story!  It’s hard, but that simple act of putting yourself out there and meeting with this girl’s father can mean the world to this girl and she can see the Knight in shining armor that you are! As I said before, I have not yet experienced this phase of Courtship; however, this is my hope: that the man, who desires to pursue my heart, will have the same desire for a spiritual blessing from not only my father—but his own as well.

I can’t wait.

“But, alas, you must.” – Dad