I am sure we have all heard at some point someone mention "Love at first sight," or "Somehow I just knew they were the one." Of these statements, I cannot say that I know the mystery of how God draws one's heart to another. And although I have not yet experienced this side of Courtship, I completely believe that God will one day draw my heart to the one and only man that will ever truly own my heart and affection. As I said in the first post, I want all of these words to come from my heart. And while I cannot tell you my own love story quite yet, I have prayed about it from the time I was very young. God has placed in my heart a strong desire for a God centered Courtship and love story. God has blessed me in more ways than one in this area. He has given me a picture of what it could like like for me, through others in my life. Just one example is Kaitie and Ryan.
You see, my sister married our brother's childhood best friend. And believe it or not, my parents held their son-in-law as a newborn, not realizing that he would one day marry their daughter and be the father of their first grandson only twenty years later. To watch Kaitie and Ryan's Courtship unfold, as well as my older brother John and his wife, Sarah, has totally blessed me from the beginning. It has given me a vision of how I desire my love story to be--joyful and pure.
Kaitie and Ryan have known each other pretty much since they were born. Our parents have been best friends since the time they met during childbirth class in 1989-- the thought of that still makes me smile. We have pictures and home videos of Kaitie and Ryan playing together even when they were toddlers. God had placed Ryan in Kaitie's heart from early on. However, no one knew this except my mom and Kaitie's prayer journal. She admired him not only for who he was, but what he stood for. Along with my parents, Kaitie prayed for Ryan and their friendship.
I believe friendship is an essential piece in Courtship. It allows someone to see a person in their natural setting with no pressure or angst involved. It gives someone a clear perspective of how someone will react or handle any situation. Dating is the opposite. In a dating situation you have control over what and how you are being viewed. My dad describes it like this: "Dating is like getting a photograph of someone. You get to see the best side of them-- and everyone has a good side. It is a snapshot of their life-- no action. However, Courtship is like watching a movie; you get to see them in real life situations, you get a fuller version of who they are--how they relate with their parents, siblings, and friends; fully knowing that how they treat them is how they will treat their future spouse. What they are like not only on a good day, but every other day as well."
I feel like that is a great picture of how it really is. Another way to view it is picturing dating like a high school prom. Both the guy and the girl spend all day preparing themselves for the night so they can "look their best." Whereas Courtship is like having two families get together for a casual dinner at home, rich in conversation and fully authentic--you get to see everyone in their natural setting.
As I said, friendship is a big part of Courtship. There is no pressure involved--only joy and fun. A lot of people have asked me, "If you guys are just friends, then how will you know that you love the person?" This question always makes me smile, and most of the time I have responded by saying, "I will fall in love." It is a quick and easy answer, but honestly, in a friendship, if two people are "meant to be" then God will turn their hearts toward each other in His perfect time. As friends and in group settings two people can get to know each other. But there come a time when God opens up their eyes and heart to the person they will one day marry.
For example, contrary to my sister admiring Ryan from the time they were young, it wasn't until shortly before he left for college that God began to open Ryan's eyes toward Kaitie. He began noticing her passion and joy for life, her love for everyone and more than that, her love for God. By this time God had moved in Kaitie's heart that her high school years were not to be wasted. "In high school I had released Ryan to God, and had a firm belief that God took him out of my immediate thoughts because I was meant to have that time to grow, and not worry about liking anyone or getting married. But I always admired his quiet spirit, his kindness to his mom; I never saw him disobey her. I also loved how in most picture we took, or places we went, he would scoop up one of his little brothers and hold them-- it was almost like a little gateway into his spirit and his way of saying that he was content to not run around like most young men, but to be mature and settled in spirit."
This is the essence of Courtship. Kaitie and Ryan were friends from the beginning, but still admired each other for who they were. God protected both of their hearts from the beginning by not allowing them to get attached prematurely. Instead, in His perfect timing, He gave them the desire to focus only on Him until He opened up their hearts to one another.
I said I was going to be honest and write from my heart in these posts, and so I must tell you, this is what my heart desires-- a story like this. I was able to see the miracle and beauty of two people having a sweet friendship from the beginning, and God turning their hearts completely toward one another. Even being friends, they didn't realize how truly perfect they had been created for one another until God opened the eyes of their hearts. Simply reminiscing back to the complete purity and joy that radiated from my sister makes me cry. I got to witness this new beautiful beginning in their lives.
Courtship doesn't end there, when God turns a man's heart toward his girl, he goes to her father to ask for his spiritual blessing over their relationship...
To Be Continued...
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