Mystery in Modesty

    My house is out in a forest, at the top of a small, secluded road.  I have birch trees at the top of my driveway, my house is brick and I have a creek running in the backyard through the trees.  To get to the creek, one must walk under an arch made of purple wisteria, walk down many stone steps to get to the bottom of a hill where the creek is running.  It is truly beautiful.  I walked down the hill this morning to go by the creek, and, as always, it was beautiful.  However, something was different.  Most of the leaves on the trees were gone and scattered on the ground, leaving it wide open to see through the trees.  And, honestly, I was a little disappointed.

  
    I feel it necessary to say that fall is one of my favorite seasons, it is a new masterpiece every day—even when the sun is not shining.  I anticipate every year, the time when the leaves fall from the trees.  But, as I was saying, today it was not what I expected.  Usually, walking down those mossy stepping stones is like an adventure, only once you dare to take another step do you reveal even more beauty than when looking at a distance.  All the way down you slowly uncover more and more in this mystery hidden inside the trees.  If I had not experienced that mystery before—during the spring and summer when it was hidden behind the leaves—I would have missed out on the journey of uncovering that beauty.  It would have been out in the open for all to see.

    I recently finished a book on modesty.  Growing up with brothers, I have always had a different perspective on modesty—it was always just my family culture.  It became routine for me to make sure I was dressing appropriately.  However, not until a few months ago—when I started reading this book—did I realize what modesty actually means.  It is not just being conscious of clothing so as not to stumble my brothers in Christ—this is a great reason to be modest!—but it goes even deeper than that.  Psalm 45:11 says that God is enthralled with our beauty.  Enthralled.  In other words God is captivated and enraptured by our beauty so much that we are commanded therefore to honor Him in our beauty.  But what does that mean?

     We are told, even by our culture in some ways, that beauty is not just skin deep—one’s character can be truly beautiful.  I am a “character-type-person,” or in other words, I believe that someone could be the most physically attractive person in the world, but if they have bad character, or they are rude, selfish or crude, it can instantly make them very unattractive.  Beauty is definitely a part of the soul and character too.  And I believe that is what God is mostly enraptured by.  He is delighted in our hearts.  In Bethany Dillon’s song “Beautiful,” she says that she desires for God to see her and say she is beautiful, for Him to look in her heart and say she is enough.  That is the cry of every human’s heart, I believe.

     One way that we can honor God by our beauty is to cover up that which is meant to be a mystery.  As we should be physically modest so also we should guard our hearts and feelings through modesty.  Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all, guard your hearts, for it is a wellspring of life.”  While I believe in being vulnerable and authentic in our relationships with other people, I also believe that we should guard that which makes us as women—and men—a mystery.  Essentially, we should not tell every single person we meet every tiny detail about us.  Instead, we should, while being vulnerable where we can, and authentic in every way, balance that out with the mystery of our hearts.  We should slowly reveal our beauty in time.

     Now, what does this have to do with the trees and my creek?  Well, as I described above, I was disappointed in having all of the beauty and mystery revealed to me at the beginning—as I took the first few steps, I could see all the way down to the creek.  I could see that far down because the leaves had fallen so quickly.  There was almost, I felt, no reason to continue on because I felt I had seen everything already.  The joy in uncovering the mystery had vanished.  This is also how it is with modesty.  Girls, in our modern day culture, have revealed the mystery of themselves—physically and emotionally—too quickly because that is what they believe they need to do in order to be perceived as beautiful.  When in reality, that is not found attractive.  What people love is an authentic mystery.  While it may appear that revealing ourselves is what draws attention from guys right away, I believe it is not what they truly desire.  Men were created as gentle warriors.  They were designed to have to fight for a girl’s heart by wooing and earning her love and discovering her mystery slowly and over time.

     In letting time and tenderness reveal the mystery of ourselves, we honor God, but it also brings honor to our future spouses.  The apostle Paul says that our identities are “hidden in Christ.”  He is what gives us our mystery and allure.  In essence, we should hide our mystery in Christ for Him to reveal in His time.  Just as the leaves dance to the ground in fall—in obedience to God’s seasons—so the modesty of our hearts and bodies should be revealed in His time—in the perfect season.